Send me someone human

It was really busy in the Emergency Room (ER) tonight (I am a social worker there, two 12-hour shifts each week …) And, based on what’s been going on in the ER for the past couple of months, whatever you’ve been reading about the state of our economy is true. We are in a recession, approaching depression, as great – if not greater – than the Great Depression of the 1930’s.

Suicidal thoughts and attempts are up. Domestic violence is up. Assaults and DUIs are up. Child and elder abuse and neglect are up. Lots and lots of sick people can’t pay for their medicines. Folks who have been tottering on the edge of not managing chronic conditions like high blood pressure or diabetes for years are throwing in the towel - they can’t afford their prescriptions and the sliding scale clinics are booked weeks, if not months, in advance…

I don’t know what our new government is going to do about all this, but when you hear that our health care system is in crisis, you hear right.

Tonight there were two suicidal teens whose family situations I had to evaluate for abuse…Several folks off their meds for a month or more, due to lack of money, ended up in the ER – two with such high blood pressure it ‘s a miracle they’re still alive…The waiting room was full of sick, sad, angry folks waiting over two hours to get back to an ER bed, and a bill most of them cannot afford to pay…Staff was cranky…Patients were cranky…I was cranky…The atmosphere was one of tension and a whole lot of folks feeling overwhelmed…

It is hard, in this type of situation, to be consistently caring and calm. Human frailty takes over. We get tired. We get tense. We snap. Nurses who are usually incredibly kind and caring become cold. Doctors who are usually pretty nice people become harsh. Social workers (like me) who are usually giving and tolerant lose interest…and, that is what happened tonight.

Request after request came in…The phone I carry rang incessantly... Everyone wanted something – for nothing, from me…I got yelled at a bunch of times…So many people, having such hard times, no end to their misery in sight…

I understand this mindset because I have worked in the ER for five years…and, more personally, because my once well-employed husband has been out of work now for seven months…I am working three jobs trying to keep us barely afloat, and there is no light, as yet, at the end of our tunnel…I understand where these angry, sad, sick, suicidal, desperate, hopeless patients are coming from…and, in spite of that understanding, at times, I snap.

I wasn’t particularly empathetic the whole shift tonight, but as the 12th hour became the 13th, and a 21-year-old, drunk “John Doe” came in, just as I was getting ready to go home, whatever kindness left in my heart died.

This young man had been found “down” in some bushes on a dark street, unaware of where he was or how he got there. His wallet was completely empty – no ID, no video store card, no scribbled girl’s phone number on a piece of napkin – nothing. The only thing in his pockets was a Chapstick…no car keys, no pocket change – nothing.

As tired as I was of serving humanity for this night, I couldn’t leave him unidentified until the 7 a.m. social worker came in, so I went to talk with him about who he was, what had happened, and who I might call to come be with him in the ER.

The conversation went poorly.

He (like so many are…) was an angry drunk, all accusatory and defensive, not cooperative at all…
I (like so many ER staffers approaching the end of a long hard shift can be…) was less than patient.
He gave me an address, and a phone number, and begged me not to call his mom, whom, apparently, he still lives with…Then he said it.

“If there’s any more questions, send me someone human to ask them. I can’t deal with you anymore. You’re too cold.”

Wow…kicked in the face with a reality check by a drunken 21-year-old. And, he was right. I hadn’t really been much of a human to any of the people I’d dealt with this night…That’s what all this unemployed, uninsured, what-am-I-gonna’-do-next, what’s-gonna’-become-of-us energy does….It saps us of our humanity.

When we read that crime, and domestic violence, and suicide, and depression, and child abuse, and substance abuse, and all manner of other problems are up, it is important to remember – just as this ER social worker did not do tonight – that we are all in this together. There is nothing good, true or constructive to be found in harsh judgement, coldness and impatience…The only thing that may help us through these very rough times is remembering our own – and others’ – humanness.

“Send me someone human” is a fair request, and one that we all, when times get even tougher, should be entitled to make… Let’s hope someone doing better than I did tonight, is there to answer the call!