Cardinals

“Say it’s only a paper moon sailing over a cardboard sea, but it wouldn’t be make believe if you believed in me…” from Paper Moon, by Harold Arlen, E. Y. Harburg and Billy Rose

There is a pair of cardinals raising two babies in a nest right outside my kitchen window. First the mama built the nest, then she sat on her little eggs for the 12-13 days cardinal eggs take to hatch. During that time we rarely saw the dad, as he is much more skittish than she about the humans gawking from the other side of the glass.

The babies hatched three days ago, and the couple has been busy feeding them since. According to my Google search, the babies will be fed primarily by Dad until they leave the nest, 9-11 days after hatching. Mom, it seems, will be busy building nest #2 during this time, as cardinals attempt two broods during each mating season.

Google also said both parents can feed their young until the babies leave the nest, then Mama will go off and build a new nest for their next family. Our cardinal couple seems to be following that model, as the mama still spends a lot of time in the nest with the babies while dad flits in and out feeding them.

Cardinals mate for life and I like that idea. It makes this little couple’s efforts seem even friendlier and more heartwarming. It’s nice to imagine them, building nests and feeding babies together for years to come.

Other animals that mate for life include: gibbon apes, wolves, coyotes, barn owls, beavers, bald eagles, golden eagles, condors, swans, cranes, angel fish, pigeons, red-tailed hawks, anglerfish, ospreys, prairie voles, black vultures and termites.

Contrary to common lore (which seems to have originated with the “Friends” episode, in which Phoebe says Ross is Rachel's "lobster"), lobsters do not mate for life. They have a tender mating ritual, but the male also mates with almost every other female in the area. So much for lobsters and true love…

Right now Mr. Clark is packing my lunch for my 12-hour hospital work day tomorrow – the human equivalent, I guess, of what Mr. Cardinal has been doing for the past few days…

Marriage is a strange thing, in that it just keeps surprising you. You walk down that aisle, say, “I do,” agree to mate for life, and away you go – with no idea of what lies ahead. Sometimes it’s pretty good stuff - other times it’s just disastrous.

Mr. Clark and I signed on for the long haul together 30 years ago. And, we’ve had some very good times and some pretty bad ones. The thing that always kept us together was our kids. The act of raising our children and enjoying each other as a family always seemed more important than whatever trial or tribulation was driving us apart.

Ironically, the biggest trial and tribulation so far – Mr. Clark’s now 10 months of unemployment – occurred after our little cardinals left the nest. In fact, our little cardinals were already married and settled into lives and nests of their own, when the parental nest took the hard hit.

I know it’s supposed to be “for better or for worse,” and “for richer or for poorer,” but it’s a lot easier to talk that talk, than walk that walk. And, as much as we both have tried to stay focused on the positive, and remain optimistic about the future, there have been some pretty bleak, dark and angry times here in the Clark house, as the economy continues to crumble and Mr. Clark’s job search continues to net only occasional contract work.

If you had asked me at various points along the course of our marriage, if I would still be with Mr. Clark under our current circumstances – children grown, money all gone, no job or security in sight – I’m a little ashamed to admit, but in all honesty have to say, I would’ve said, “No way.”

But, here we are – at about as low a point as two people who still have their health can be - and, we are doing just fine. Like those cardinals outside the kitchen window, Mr. Clark and I just keep on, keepin’ on. Realistically, those baby cardinals have a very poor chance of surviving to adulthood, but that doesn’t change the care with which their parents feed them or shelter them from the wind and rain.

I don’t know what the future has in store for Mr. Clark and me. I certainly hope it involves a job for him, but in this economy there are no guarantees.

What I’d like to envision for us is the same thing I like to imagine for the cardinal couple outside the kitchen window – some successes, a few failures, only a bit of heartbreak, and a continued joint effort forward…

It’s a daunting notion - mating for life – but, if the cardinals (and all those other creatures) can do it, so can Mr. Clark and I.