Too Much!

What is enough? And, how much is too much? These were the questions I pondered driving back from taking pictures of a child’s birthday party at an art studio in Dunwoody the other day.

The child is a lovely little girl. It was her third birthday. And, it appeared that a good time was had by all. But, the whole format of the party seemed like too much. There was a “teacher” who orchestrated the “activity,” which was to “make a very special box to put your wishes and other special things in.”

Nice concept. It’s just there was no one on the guest list older than three and the kids didn’t seem to fully get what was supposed to be going on. It was too much. First they had to put on “very special” aprons and party hats. Then they had to sit in a chair (for way too long for some of them) and try to paint small wooden letters that spelled their names. Then they had to paint the box. Then they had to glue the painted letters of their names to the box lid, along with some feathers and glitter and other “very special” things.

It seemed like a lot to complete in an hour, for a one, two or three year old. Their parents were there, attentively trying to help them and it felt like there were as many expectations in the room as there were balloons. By the time it was time to sing “Happy Birthday” and eat cake, the Birthday Girl and her guests seemed glassy-eyed and over-stimulated.

“When do we eat cake?” was the battle cry, as the little artists finished their boxes, washed their hands, and grabbed a juice box from the cooler. Playing with the ice in the cooler seemed to be more of a hit than making the very special boxes had been.

Another theme for these elaborate birthday parties is the gymnastics party at the kiddy gymnastics place. While a little more age-appropriate, these parties still seem to overwhelm. One of the parties I photographed – this one for a two-year-old – had water bottles labeled with the Birthday Boy’s face, candy kisses with Disney “Cars” stickers on them – applied by the Birthday Boy’s mother, party bags with the Birthday Boy’s face and “Cars” stickers on them, and, sadly, a complete melt down by the Birthday Boy himself. It was all just too much for a two-year-old…

I see too much, too often on the ring fingers of the brides I photograph, as well. I don’t know when it became mandatory to give a girl a $3,000-$6,000-or more engagement ring, but I rarely see a smaller one these days. And, the wedding band that follows is equally spectacular…What happened to the idea of “two young people just starting out” with a subtle, pair of rings that spoke of brighter things to come?

What does a husband buy his wife for later anniversaries if he started the marriage by giving her that much bling? How do you say, “Thank you for spending the last 30 years with me,” if the day you said, “I do” you decked your wife’s hand so grandly that it’s almost blinding to look at when she’s in the sun?

The necessity of the new car or truck payment is another “too much” for me. I see young nurses at work (at the hospital) heart broken that they only get six weeks of maternity leave, and tormented by child care and “getting the baby on a schedule” questions. Later these same young mothers are torn apart when their babies or toddlers get sick, and have to be in child care anyway, because mom can’t get off work.

Why do these women torture themselves this way? Because, they “have to make the car (or truck) payment.” Does it occur to these young families that if they drove older vehicles, there’d be more time to spend with the kids?

I read an article about how the size of the “American Dream” has grown since its’ inception in the 1950’s. Back then the average middle class home was 1,300-square feet; now it’s 2,400. It used to be common for siblings to share rooms. Now everyone has to have their own room, complete with separate bath and walk-in closet. Yards are bigger, rooms are bigger, and a two car garage is a must…

We’ve super-sized ourselves into a lifestyle that leaves us scrambling to make house payments and car payments, buy big engagement rings and plan elaborate parties for toddlers…

I don’t know where I’m going with this, except to say that this Recession may be a good thing. It may force us to scale back a bit, rethink some things, and reign in our expectations. My bet is those three-year-olds would’ve had just as much fun playing in a kiddy pool, then running wild in the yard after the frosting buzz set in. Less is more, but what a hard lesson that is to learn!